Leighann
Where did the time go? Last night Henry asked me how far along I am. I answered 23 weeks. "wow," I said, "that means there's only 17 weeks to go." Then it hit me, they are talking about taking the baby 2 weeks early, that means 15 weeks to go. Ok, that's gonna go by quickly and then life will be turned upside down. Anticipating baby boy will live, I'm thinking of all the things that will have to happen once this baby is born. Pumping, visits to the hospital, logistics for the girls, living away from my baby and always feeling like the girls aren't getting what they need. It's going to be a long, hard road. I'm not ready, but it's certainly better than the alternative.
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Following last week's whirlwind schedule, the first two days this week are relatively quiet. I'm not sure how good that is...I've taken to hibernating both physically and mentally. So tonight, I'm gonna pop in my new Prenatal Pilates CD and then watch my Beth Moore lesson to see if I can jump start this brain. Then maybe I'll check in to see who's leading the presidential race.
First though, I'm gonna finish my bowl of ice cream!
I saw this idea on another mom's website and thought it was a cute idea. You'll get the idea. The biggest problem for me is you're supposed to actually remember things and I'm suffering from Pregnesia. We'll give it a shot anyway!
1) I did not buy a prepared meal from the Target freezer section one day this week and serve it to my children for dinner.
2) I did not have the urge to jump across the table and hug the fetal cardiologist when she told me baby boy has a pulmonary artery, nor did I wish to curl up in my husband's lap and cry with relief when the day was finally over.
3) I did not borrow a key from my tenant for the apartment I own (which I lost the original to already) and proceed to lose it within a 24 hour period.
4) I did not wolf down 2 candy bars from my daughter's trick or treat basket while she was jumping on rocks and not paying attention. (and proceed to leak pee while choking on one said candy bar)
5) I did not crawl back in bed for an hour and half nap this morning while the children watched t.v.
Ok, that was hard. As a list person, I usually keep track of accomplishments. I'll do better next week. :)
This morning in church during communion, I was praying for our little one. Thoughts about the baby always take me down the road of the grieving process. I was wondering how much denial I am in, being on a high from hearing baby boy has all his heart parts and feeling like God is telling me this baby will live. I imagined that should this baby die, I would be the stubborn mom saying God would still heal the baby, it wasn't dead after all...it made me think of the story of Lazarus and thoughts moved on to how Mary and Martha were so distraught at their brother's death. They knew Jesus could heal him, but figured it was now too late (our thoughts are not His thoughts, our ways not His ways). Jesus basically said, 'Hey guys, I'm here. It's not too late. This is all for God's glory.' So guess what docs, my baby isn't dead yet....Jesus is here and it's all for God's glory.
